I'm experiencing a contemplative existence lately which is unusual because my mind is very rarely in "thinking" mode. My undiagnosed adult ADHD and a 2 pump vanilla soy latte are the energy that keeps me running beyond street legal on a daily basis. But lately, I'm deep in thought about what my next step is. I have been fortunate enough to be very successfully employed at the same company for nearly 13 years, but I have gone from growing weary of my job to burnout to absolute complete ungrateful disaffected disillusion. Things have changed in 13 years, so maybe it really is me and not them. I have children...the kind I baked with my DNA and not the kind that I have been hired to look after and ultimately placate under "other duties as assigned". Now that I have to deal with the upbringing of actual children, I don't really have the patience and understanding for 20-something year old children. So, all of that being said, I'm wondering what I should do next because I am running the risk that my employment, though financially enriching to my children, is actually negatively affecting my children because of my inability to compartmentalize, and therefore making me a shitty parent. Enter the Lampe Berger that was a 30-something birthday gift from my sister-in-law whom we refer to as Big Cat. She personally delivered it to me via American Airlines from St. Martin with Paris Chic Parfum fragrance. It is symbolic in all of this mental chaos. It was developed in 1898 in France to purify the air of hospitals, but is currently available in collectors lamps and divine fragrances which are now referred to as the "pleasurable dimension". I come home and it's flame on as I sit and consider where I'm going and what I'm going to do. It's also used to fumigate the man cave. I would highly recommend it if your basement also smells of kitty litter and man funk.
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